The Power of Quiet Encouragement

How to Support Women Like Carl, Martin, and Paul

You may not know Carl Dean. And….that’s the point. 

Carl Dean, Dolly Parton’s husband for nearly 60 years passed away earlier this month. He was 82.

Over the years I had read that Carl stayed out of the public eye and that Dolly often credited him for his unwavering, behind the scenes, support. At a time when it seems there is an attempt at a “great extinction” of women across the board, I found it fitting to celebrate a few men who provided quiet encouragement so that we could all benefit from the timeless music, revolutionary food, legal prowess, philanthropy, and humor these women gave the world.

Here is a little background about Carl, Martin, Paul, and how they showed support for the women in their lives.   

Carl Dean, married to Dolly Parton (married 59 years until his death)

Despite being married to one of the most famous women in the world, Carl Dean managed to stay out of the limelight, providing a powerful example of how quiet, steadfast support can be instrumental in a partner's success. Dolly Parton, a name synonymous with country music and philanthropy, has always been open about the unwavering support she received from her husband. Carl’s preference for privacy didn't mean he was absent; rather, he was a constant source of encouragement and stability for Dolly.

One of the critical ways Carl supported Dolly was by creating a stable home environment. While Dolly traveled the world, Dean took care of their home, ensuring that she had a peaceful retreat to return to. Knowing that her home life was secure allowed Dolly to focus entirely on her work, leading to her immense success.

Moreover, Carl Dean's support was not about grand gestures but about being a reliable presence. He attended her concerts and events when it mattered most, but he never sought the spotlight for himself. This quiet form of support can be incredibly empowering, as it shows a deep level of respect and understanding for a partner's ambitions and needs.

Dolly Parton has often credited Carl Dean with being her rock. In interviews, she has mentioned how his belief in her and his willingness to let her be herself have been vital to her success.

Even after his death Dolly has memorialized him and his support in her new song titled, “If You Hadn’t Been There.”

Martin Ginsburg, married to Ruth Bader Ginsburg (married 56 years until his death)

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, renowned for her groundbreaking work in gender equality and her tenure as a Supreme Court Justice, had a steadfast supporter in her husband, Martin Ginsburg. While Ruth's career was marked by public achievements and accolades, Martin's support was often quiet and behind the scenes, yet profoundly impactful.

One of the most significant ways Martin supported Ruth was by taking on household responsibilities. He was the primary cook in their home, a role he embraced wholeheartedly. Martin once said, "I learned very early on in our marriage that Ruth was a fairly terrible cook and, for lack of interest, unlikely to improve."

Martin also played a practical role in Ruth's career. He was a tax attorney and often provided legal insights that complemented Ruth's work. His support extended to campaigning for her appointment to the Supreme Court, a testament to his belief in her potential. His efforts came to fruition when President Bill Clinton appointed Ruth to the highest court in 1993.

Ruth credited Martin for her professional success, “If you have a caring life partner, you help the other person when that person needs it. I had a life partner who thought my work was as important as his, and I think that made all the difference for me.”

Paul Cushing Child, married to Julia Child (married 48 years until his death)

Julia Child, the beloved cook, author, and television personality, is a household name known for bringing French cuisine to American homes. Behind her remarkable success was her husband, Paul Cushing Child, whose quiet yet unwavering support played a crucial role in her journey.

Paul accepted that his support also meant some trade-offs. He encouraged Julia to pursue her passion for cooking, even when it meant long hours and significant setbacks. He was her biggest cheerleader, providing emotional support and celebrating her successes, no matter how small. His belief in her abilities gave Julia the confidence to push forward, even when she was ready to quit.

Paul also played a practical role in Julia's career. He used his skills as a photographer to take pictures for her cookbooks, and his artistic eye helped in the presentation of her work. His involvement in these aspects of her career was a testament to his dedication to her and her success.

Julia often credited Paul with being the foundation of her success. She once said, "Without Paul Child, I would not have had my career."

The support and encouragement these men showed the women in their lives may seem unique to them, their situation, or that they were well-known in their fields. However, if we boil it down, we can see that it doesn’t take money or fame to do what Carl, Martin, and Paul did.

Key steps for quiet encouragement….

1. Offer Encouragement: Simple words of encouragement and belief in their abilities can go a long way. Let them know you believe in their potential and are there to support them.

2. Be Present: Attend important events and milestones, not for the spotlight, but to show your support. Your presence can be a powerful source of motivation.

3. Listen, Listen, Listen: Sometimes, the best support comes from just listening. Be there to listen to their concerns, ideas, and dreams without judgment or unsolicited advice.

4. Share Responsibilities: Help with day-to-day responsibilities, whether at home or in other areas of life. This can free up time and mental space for them to pursue their ambitions.

5. Celebrate Successes: Celebrate their achievements, no matter how big or small. Acknowledging their hard work and success can boost their confidence and morale.

6. Provide Honest Feedback: Offer constructive feedback when asked. Honest, thoughtful feedback can help them grow and improve in their endeavors.

7. Be Reliable: Consistency and reliability in your support can provide a strong foundation for them to build upon. Knowing that they can count on you can be incredibly empowering.

8. Encourage Self-Care: Remind them to take care of themselves and prioritize their well-being. Support their need for rest and relaxation to maintain a healthy balance.

Often the smallest gestures can be the biggest help. For me, my mom’s quiet support is watching our kids while we’re working or on business trips. She fixes holes in our kids’ pants, feeds us anytime we stop by, and provides another critical source of love, guidance, and core memories for Charlotte and Axel.

My colleagues and close friends provide feedback, positive encouragement, and an outlet to share everyday challenges at work and at home. They make sure I’m prepared to upcoming workshops, remind me of summer camp registrations, and are happy to just chat over dinner or a glass of wine.

Most importantly, my husband Wes. Very much like Carl Dean, he is like an enigma to many people – especially our clients and business partners. He would rather eat glass than attend a business dinner or networking event! But he is only a call away if we need someone to drive a workshop shuttle if there’s rain, fix something, put together furniture, hang up signage for our new office. Without him our kids would always be late for school, or late being picked up, my car would never get an oil change, and the dishwasher wouldn’t get emptied. He will always listen to me vent or help me brainstorm a problem I am trying to address. His encouragement and belief in me and our company has pulled me up when I’ve had my doubts.

Quiet encouragement is a universal gift that transcends gender. While men like Carl Dean, Martin Ginsburg, and Paul Cushing Child have shown how powerful this support can be, it is important to recognize that anyone can provide and benefit from such encouragement. We all have the responsibility to offer steadfast support and to acknowledge those who quietly uplift us. By fostering an environment of mutual encouragement and recognition, we can help each other reach our full potential, creating a more supportive and empowering world for everyone.

Who is your behind-the-scenes cheerleader? What do they do for you that helps you be who you are and want to become? How are you quietly supporting those around you?

Let’s celebrate those who are willing to stand in the background, so we make a positive impact on our community and the world!

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Tanya McCausland is the Co-Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Diamond6 Leadership & Strategy, headquartered in Carlisle, PA. With a passion for empowering leaders at all levels, Tanya and her team bring innovative leadership programs and workshops to public school educators and administrators across the country.

Embracing Innovative Leadership: A Roadmap to Organizational Success

In the ever-evolving landscape of modern business, innovative leadership practices have emerged as the driving force behind organizational success.

As you embark on your leadership journey, three key principles illuminate the path to innovation and excellence: fostering a culture of experimentation, embracing diversity and inclusion, and leveraging technology to drive transformative change.

1. Innovative leadership thrives in a culture of experimentation.

Picture yourself as a trailblazer, unafraid to venture into uncharted territories in pursuit of progress. By encouraging your team to explore new ideas, take calculated risks, and learn from failure, you create an environment where innovation flourishes. Embrace a mindset of curiosity and adaptability, where challenges are seen as opportunities for growth and innovation becomes a way of life.

2. Diversity and inclusion stand as pillars of innovative leadership, enriching your organization with a tapestry of perspectives and experiences.

By fostering an inclusive culture where all voices are heard and valued, you unlock the power of diversity to drive innovation and fuel creativity.

Embrace diversity not as a checkbox to be ticked, but as a strategic imperative that enhances decision-making, fosters collaboration, and enables your organization to thrive in an increasingly complex and interconnected world.

3. Leveraging technology is paramount in driving transformative change and staying ahead of the curve in today's fast-paced business environment.

Embrace emerging technologies such as artificial intelligence, data analytics, and automation to streamline processes, enhance productivity, and unlock new opportunities for growth.

Embrace a culture of continuous learning and adaptation, where technology is not viewed as a threat but as a catalyst for innovation and progress. By harnessing the power of technology, you position your organization at the forefront of industry trends and empower your team to achieve new heights of success.

By fostering a culture of experimentation, embracing diversity and inclusion, and leveraging technology to drive transformative change, you pave the way for innovation, growth, and sustainable success.

As you navigate the complexities of leadership, remember that innovation is not a destination but a journey—a journey fueled by creativity, collaboration, and a relentless commitment to pushing the boundaries of what is possible. Embrace the spirit of innovation, and watch as your organization thrives in the face of change and uncertainty, poised to seize the opportunities of tomorrow.

The Seven Questions of Decision-Making

It sometimes seems like planning and decision-making is alchemy or magic and best left in the hands of consultants. However, leaders of successful tire dealerships realize that planning and decision-making are the lifeblood for their companies' collective destinies.

What if there was a template to apply to planning and decision-making that helps remove some of the sting? If that method was tested and could easily be used by people at all levels of your business, would it be valuable?

The U.S. Army uses an approach called the military decision-making process (MDMP). It is exceedingly thorough, but ponderous and cumbersome. The guide manual to MDMP is over 200 pages long!

When I served in the Afghanistan war, one of our flanking brigades decided to use a strict application of MDMP for every mission. The process was so involved that they missed all timelines — not by hours, but by days and weeks. Their planning was perfect, but their goals were completely compromised.

The simplest solution is usually the best and it’s based on the following seven questions, which were originally developed by the British Army. (We’re now adapting it for the business world.)

When applied — using the scope, time and resources/information available — you will gain a 360-degree view of the situation (any situation) and how to confront it.

Here are the questions, which as you can see, generate a few additional questions:

1. What is the market or competition doing and why?

   Who is winning and who is not? What trends are you seeing and are those trends likely to continue? How does your business fit within this picture currently? The “why” is critical. What is driving your competition’s thinking and are their conclusions valid? You need to get inside your competitors’ heads before you can figure out how to defeat them.
   
   
   
   

2. What have I been told to do and why?

   If you’re the owner of your company, you might think, “Well, no one really tells me what to do.” Even CEOs answer to boards. Survival is a stern taskmaster in business and can dictate actions. Your employees and stakeholders must remain on board with what you’re doing or they will leave. Your customers get a vote, too. No matter your role, someone or something has an impact on your decisions. Your motivation must be logical and rational or no one will support the plan that emerges.
   
   
   
   

3. What effects do I want to have on my market or competition and what directions must I give to develop a plan?

   This is the spot where goals may show up. What would success look like? With this picture of success in mind, who needs to take what actions to make the vision come true? How do you see the competition chasing your business, rather than the other way around?
   
   
   
   

4. Where can I best accomplish each action/effect?

   This helps narrow the scope of your vision. Where will the easiest or most profitable wins come? Geographically, where do your ideas stand the best chance of success? What group, division or areas are impacted the most and will drive success? Who is in the forefront and who supports?
   
   
   
   

5. What resources do I need to accomplish each action/effect?

   Who are the instrumental people for this plan? How much time do you have and how much time can your team spare? What logistics are necessary? What are the costs, in dollars and sweat? For example, can your existing facilities handle the plan or will this require new rooftops?
   
   
   
   

6. When and where does each action take place in relation to each other?

   These are what I call “time hacks.” What can happen now? What actions can happen concurrently? What actions need to happen first before the plan can move forward? These clutch points are bottlenecks and stop forward progress until they’re solved. What actions are most important? Can the actions occur in multiple geographic locations and when?
   
   
   
   

7. What control measures, standards and metrics do I need to impose?

   How will you measure progress? How often will you take a sounding of your progress? What information and data are accepted across your team as key measurements? Who will contribute to the progress reviews and who is responsible for supplying information and data? Who owns the review process? What is the cadence for long-term follow-up? This is key. Too often, beautiful business plans are crafted, bronzed and forgotten when the tyranny of the “now” overcomes the organization. If commitment to your plan is uneven, your team might duck and let the plan blow over and watch it wither from general apathy.

Answering the above seven questions could result in a 250-page business plan or a one-page action plan. If you and your team are investigating a major acquisition and time is available, the document might be long and in-depth. If you’re participating in something less important, your plan will be less involved. But answering the questions gives a complete view of the situation and your plan forward.

Applying the seven questions rests on a few premises:

• Teddy Roosevelt’s adage, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

• The answer is within you.

• An honest SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats) analysis before you apply the questions to your business.

Planning and decision-making are always imperfect. There is never enough time, the information available to you may be incomplete and resources — including people and money — can be inadequate. If you wait for all these factors to align just right, the opportunity is often lost, with the future already riding in the rearview mirror.

The U.S. military frequently states that “the plan never survives first contact intact.” Planning and decision-making require flexibility to adapt to a changing situation or environment.

Your plan is only the cost of admission to the future, but the planning — driven by changes and updates — is the future. Using Roosevelt’s idea, we act and adjust as time, information and resources become available.

The answer is within you simply means that a solution is either in your team’s collective mind already and just needs brought out, or the solution is discoverable with soul-searching, collaboration and information. Hiring some outside organization isn’t necessarily required for planning and decision-making solutions. Who knows the organization better than the people invested in it?

The SWOT analysis is critical because it forms the foundation upon which the seven questions begin. Strengths and weaknesses are inward-looking — who we are. Opportunities and threats are outward-looking — what the world/market looks like.

The SWOT must be brutally honest because it provides much of the information that will fuel the answers to the seven questions. The choice is “garbage in, garbage out” or “gold in, gold out.” Where reality meets the future, confidence is key.

Planning is not the exclusive domain of consulting groups. The answers to the seven questions likely reside within the leaders of your business or its stakeholders. I won’t pretend that planning and decision-making are not complex topics. I am, however, asking you to view the topics through a simplified lens as a jumping-off point.

You don’t always start with traditional goals, necessarily. You can groom the background, the playing field and what must be true for the future. Then the seven questions walk you to your goals. In this, the seven questions are unique in planning and decision-making. They allow you to establish plans that fit the situation and not a situation shoe-horned to fit a plan.

Applying the seven questions should be a permanent part of your dealership’s culture and the results should be non-negotiable. Paint your plan on walls. Tattoo it on everyone’s arm. It isn’t going away and it can’t go away. The future of your dealership depends on it. Once your plan has been accomplished, celebrate, praise the players and reward a job well done. Then begin the entire process again.

The seven questions work in all decision-making situations, whether you’re the president of the United States or chairperson of the local county fair. The questions remain the same. Only the scope and detail vary. Planning can be laborious and potentially gut-wrenching. The seven questions make the process more natural and simpler.

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About the Author

J. Mark Jackson

J. Mark Jackson is a 30-year veteran of the tire industry and a founding partner of Guidon LLC, a leadership and resilience training/consulting organization. A former U.S. Army officer, he was awarded the Bronze Star for combat service in Afghanistan. He has mentored senior government executives and all levels of industry personnel in leadership, resilience, sales, marketing and business planning. He is a professor at Flagler College. Jackson can be reached at jmarkjackson238@gmail.com.

Article originally published on ModernTireDealer.com on November 3, 2024.

Ethical Leadership: Cultivating Integrity for Organizational Success

In the dynamic landscape of leadership, ethical conduct stands as the cornerstone upon which trust is built, and success is sustained.

As you navigate the intricate terrain of leading others, three principles emerge as guiding points: ethical decision-making, unwavering integrity, and their profound influence on organizational culture.

First and foremost, ethical leadership demands a steadfast commitment to ethical decision-making.

Imagine yourself at the crossroads of choice, where the path of expediency diverges from the route of righteousness. Here, your decisions echo beyond the confines of your boardroom, resonating throughout your organization.

Ethical decision-making transcends mere compliance with rules and regulations; it embodies a conscientious examination of the moral implications inherent in every choice. Each decision becomes a testament to your character, shaping the trajectory of your leadership legacy.

By embracing ethical decision-making, you pave the way for a culture of trust and accountability, where transparency reigns supreme and ethical lapses find no quarter.

Integrity stands as the bedrock of ethical leadership, anchoring your actions in a steadfast commitment to truth and honor.

Integrity compels you to align your words with your deeds, fostering an environment where honesty and authenticity flourish. It is the currency of trust, earned through consistency and unwavering adherence to ethical principles.

In the absence of integrity, even the loftiest of goals falter, as doubt erodes the very foundation upon which leadership is built. By embodying integrity in your actions, you inspire confidence and loyalty, cultivating a culture where ethical conduct is not a choice but a way of life.

The impact of ethical leadership reverberates throughout the tapestry of organizational culture, shaping norms and values that define the collective identity of your organization.

Envision your organization as a thriving ecosystem, where every member plays a vital role in the cultivation of a shared vision.

By championing ethical conduct, you foster an environment where diversity is celebrated, dissent is welcomed, and collaboration thrives. In this nurturing environment, employees feel empowered to voice their concerns, share their ideas, and contribute to the collective success of the organization.

In conclusion, ethical leadership is not merely a choice but a calling—a calling to uphold the highest standards of integrity and ethical conduct in every aspect of your leadership journey.

By embracing ethical decision-making, embodying unwavering integrity, and cultivating a culture of trust and accountability, you pave the way for organizational success and sustainable growth.

As you navigate the complexities of leadership, remember that the choices you make today shape the culture of tomorrow.

Choose wisely, for the legacy of ethical leadership is measured not in accolades or achievements, but in the lives touched and the values upheld.

Navigating Storms: Lessons & Strategies in Crisis Leadership

In the tumultuous landscape of today's world, crises and emergencies are not uncommon occurrences.

From natural disasters to global pandemics, leaders are often thrust into situations of uncertainty and adversity, where their ability to navigate crises effectively can make all the difference.

We have spoken on these lessons individually, but now it is time to put them together.

1. Embrace Agility and Adaptability

One of the fundamental lessons of crisis leadership is the importance of agility and adaptability. Crises are by nature unpredictable, requiring leaders to respond swiftly and flexibly to evolving circumstances. Leaders must be willing to abandon rigid plans and embrace creative solutions in the face of uncertainty.

Crisis leadership demands a willingness to learn and adapt in real-time. Leaders must be open to feedback, willing to course-correct as needed, and unafraid to experiment with new approaches. By fostering a culture of agility and adaptability, leaders can empower their teams to navigate crises with resilience and resourcefulness.

2. Prioritize Communication and Transparency

Effective communication is paramount in times of crisis. Leaders must keep stakeholders informed, providing regular updates on the situation, the steps being taken, and the expected outcomes. Transparency breeds trust and confidence, reassuring individuals that their concerns are being heard and addressed.

To be effective in times of stress, communication requires empathy and compassion. Leaders must acknowledge the impact of the crisis on individuals and communities, demonstrating genuine concern for their well-being. By communicating with empathy and authenticity, leaders can foster a sense of unity and solidarity, rallying their teams around a shared purpose.

3. Lead with Purpose and Resilience

In times of crisis, leadership is tested like never before. Leaders must remain steadfast in their commitment to their organization's mission and values, providing a sense of stability and direction amidst chaos. They must inspire hope and resilience, reminding their teams that adversity can be overcome with perseverance and determination.

Leading through crisis also requires a focus on self-care and well-being. Leaders must prioritize their own physical and mental health, recognizing that they cannot effectively lead others if they are not taking care of themselves. By modeling resilience and self-care, leaders set a positive example for their teams, encouraging them to prioritize their own well-being as well.

Crisis leadership is both an art and a science, requiring a combination of agility, communication, and resilience.

By embracing agility and adaptability, prioritizing communication and transparency, and leading with purpose and resilience, leaders can navigate crises effectively and emerge stronger on the other side.

All of these strategies are important whether you are leading in a crisis or not, but placing an emphasis on them when times get hard will help you persevere. As the world continues to face unprecedented challenges, the lessons and strategies of crisis leadership will remain invaluable tools for leaders across all sectors and industries.